Smile-breaks
Boy, Am I Glad I’m Not a Political Columnist!
Boy, am I glad I’m not a political columnist! Arianna, Bustamente, Camejo (he’s the green one), Davis, (he’s the gray one) and E… Who’s E? And then there was Flynt – the one you might have noticed hustling up an audience outside the debates the other night – and Governor Arnold. And all those Others.
My weekly six hundred-word slot in the paper is hardly enough room to cover a hundred ’n skatey-eight gubernatorial candidates of every gender, political stance and hair color – some of it real, some not.
But I sure enjoyed the debate! Not the televised one where Arianna and Bustamente and Shwarz could hardly keep from swatting one another, while Camejo and McClintock (I was going to use their first names, but what in the world is McClintock’s first name?) – well, anyway, while Peter and Senator relaxed coolly on their stools, watching the free-for-all with gubernatorial composure.
The debate I so thoroughly enjoyed was the one in which I participated at lunch today – and after which I thought, "Oh, boy! I’m sure glad I don’t have to write about this stuff!"
We were of many stripes, but there were only five of us, so we hardly covered the entire field. We sported solid conservative stripes, wavy liberal stripes, green stripes, and stripes that somehow got terminated. We had one of every gender – almost – and every hair color, except striped, and we all drove cars to the lunch.
What?! Well, that’s important in Cally-fornia. ’Specially considering we’re waiting for that car tax repeal so we can afford our next lunch.
And actually, I did enjoy the candidates’ televised debate the week before the election. The company was good, the couch was comfortable and the coffee was fresh. A small serving of chocolate ice cream about halfway through added to my enjoyment. And when it was over, I knew exactly for whom I would vote and for whom I would not vote.
The only decision left was, which one? There were three I would not vote for, and there were two I would vote for - but which one? California democracy hasn’t advanced to the point where you can vote for all the ones you like yet. That’ll prob’ly take a few weeks.