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Free Shipping Costs Extra

     The catalogue came in the mail today. I’m thumbing through it, not seeing anything to tempt me. Not until page forty-three and there it is: pretty in red. Long sleeves, good for these cold days. A blouse nice enough to wear to work, with ruching to boot!

     I never heard of ruching until recently. Seems to be all the style now, so besides being long-sleeved and a nice-looking blouse, if I order it I’ll be in style with all the young fashionistas. It isn’t that expensive. It’s just that when I take that huge leap and log onto the catalogue’s website, my VISA gets slammed. That little cart they give you seems so forlorn with only one item in it. Plus it’s really hard not to push the “Continue shopping” button and if you don’t, pictures of stuff they think you’d like - since you liked their red ruched blouse - pop up on the screen anyway. I’m putting the catalogue down.

     Only forty-nine ninety-nine. And it would really perk up my work wardrobe, such as it is. Promise I’ll stick to one item. No straying back to shop some more.

     Okay. Here I go to shopthebay dot com. Only one item. One. I enter the item number from the catalogue. Maybe they’re out of stock. That would save me a few bucks.

     The item pops up on the screen. Pretty in red. Pretty in blue, too. Hmmm… maybe a red and a blue…

     Nope. Only one. And blue is the color. Is it in stock? I enter the size and color and quantity and lo and behold, it’s in stock. One item. No more shopping. Gotta click on “Buy now” or whatever it is they put for you to click on when you’re done shopping.

     My total’s forty-nine ninety-nine plus shipping charges of nine ninety-nine. Whoa! That’s a lot of shipping charges for one little blouse. Seems like almost half the price of the blouse. It isn’t, but it looks like a lot and now my total’s almost sixty dollars.

     Wait a minute. Down here in the corner there’s a “Free Shipping” sign. Let’s see what that is. Sure enough! Free shipping on all orders over fifty dollars. Shoot! Forty–nine ninety-nine isn’t gonna cut it. I’m a penny short. I sure hate to pay nine ninety-nine for shipping when I could spend one or two pennies more and save almost ten dollars. But I’m not going to buy anything else – just the blouse. I won’t do it. I won’t spend a bunch more money to save ten dollars of shipping charges. I won’t. I won’t. I won’t.

     You don’t get anything for shipping charges. Let’s go through the catalogue one more time. I’m looking for something that costs a penny or two. Well, yeah, I know. There’s nothing for a couple of pennies. But maybe there’s something for nine ninety-nine. Better than paying for a bunch of air. I’m looking for anything right around that amount. It’s easy because I’m skipping over everything that’s clothes or shoes. Even the belts are way more than nine ninety-five. Maybe the costume jewelry – that’s usually cheap.

     The necklaces are all twenty-nine ninety-nine. A net loss of twenty dollars. I’ll have to bite the bullet and pay the shippin…Oh look! Here’s one for nineteen ninety-nine. Maybe…

     Nope. It’s the principal of the thing. Spend twenty dollars to save ten? Not good. Let’s go back and finalize my purchase. I’m ready to click “Buy now” when a pink and silver necklace appears on the screen. “Maybe you’d be interested in this.” And it’s sixteen ninety-nine. And it’s in stock.

     I give up. My order’s on its way now. Two items: a beautiful blue ruched blouse and one not so bad looking silver and rose necklace. No shipping charges.

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