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Smile-breaks

Cable Problems - Just Trying to Catch a Padres Game

     The Padres were losing to the Rockies – maybe. Gonzalez was up to bat when I got out of the car and hurried into the house to catch the last three innings of the game. Two on base; four to one; if he slammed one over the wall, we had a chance. I love to see Gonzalez hit a homerun – he doesn’t so much slam it as bend down, pick it up with his bat and sling it out over the field to the third row in the second level where some happy kid runs down the aisle to scoop it up.

     But if he did, tonight I wasn’t going to see it. The cable’s been acting up for weeks and I haven’t had time to call Cox and stay home from work and wait for the guy to show up, but at least I know what to do when the set goes off. I don’t even try it a second time any more. I crawl behind the credenza or whatever they call it and unplug the cord. Go off somewhere for five minutes. Come back. Plug the cord back in and turn on the TV.

     Now comes the exciting part. Sit on the couch and wait for the green “reboot” light. Then wait another ten minutes for the screen with the row of oval holes slowly filling up. It’s prob’ly the top of the ninth by now. I hope there’s some of the game left.

     Finally. Here it is. Okay, off to Channel 4. Make that Channel 704. Paying for Hi-def; might as well use it. The Padres lost. I got to watch the ninth inning, but missed Gonzalez’ homerun..

     It’s been like this since the All-Star break. Turn on the TV to catch the last few innings after a hard day’s work and get a black screen that fades away. Eventually I get it working, but it’s the eventually that’s hard to take.

     Last night I was moving stuff around on the walls. Some of the stuff was clocks and some of those clocks had stopped waving their hands so I had to take out the old batteries and put some new ones in. Most of the clocks started waving their hands again.

     Hmm. Batteries. No, I know HDTV’s don’t run on batteries. But something else does. Something that turns HDTVs on. I looked at the remote in my hand.

     Hmm. Had this remote for several years. Don’t remember changing the batteries. Ever. I jumped up and ran to the junk drawer where we keep extra batteries and tape and picture hangers and such. Pulled out a couple of double-A batteries. Is that the right size?

     Yep. That’s the right size. I took out the old year and welcomed the new. Wait. That’s not right. I took out the old batteries and stuck in the new.

     I was afraid the TV might shut itself off when I took the batteries out of the remote so I did it real quick – in the other room. Felt kind’a dumb, trying to do it without the TV seeing me, but who knows how much control the remote has? I sure didn’t want to have to go through the fifteen minute start-up process again. I held my breath as I walked into the room with the TV.

     It was still on. Normally I would turn it off and turn it back on to see if my battery theory was right – that it was the batteries causing the problem, not Cox - but if the Padres were tied two to two in the ninth with a runner on third and Gonzalez was up to bat, would you turn off your TV? I checked it out the next day.

     I’ll bet you're wondering if it worked…

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