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This One's All Wet

     Okay, time to take a walk. Been sitting at the computer all evening. Walking is so relaxing when I just walk, look at the stars, listen to the sirens… I promised myself - no stopping this time to turn on the hose by the magnolia tree; no watering the pots at the end of the driveway or pulling a few stray weeds. Yeah, I can see them in the dark.

     I walked down the driveway and up the driveway and around the back of the house. The second time around I noticed the bank where the sprinklers quit working a couple of weeks ago and the bushes looked really dry so I figured I’d turn the sprinklers on manually at the manifold. Just take a minute. I turned the little knob at the manifold and the water rose up to spray the thirsty bushes. Off I went, on my relaxing evening walk.

     Next time I came around the house the water seemed to be spraying way too much. I turned the little knob to shut it off, but the more I turned it, the harder it sprayed. I’m real stubborn so I kept turning it. I was getting wet but I was laughing because hey! I wasn’t going to do this, right?

     One last turn should do it. It did. Three feet up into the air sprayed a jet-stream of water, with the little knob riding its crest. My hair was suddenly ready for the shampoo, my clothes were soaked, and it was dark. No way I’d find that knob and stick it back into the tiny hole that was spraying water like the Balboa Park fountain. I’m no dummy. I went and got a flashlight.

     Back outside I shined the flashlight on the bank. I figured what went up together must come down together, so I shined the flashlight on the spot where the water was landing. Lucky me! There was the knob, with a long spine attached!

     If I’d been smart, I would’ve shut off the water to the outside before I tried to stick the spine attached to the knob back in its tiny hole. I’m not smart. The turn-off lever was way off in another part of the yard and I’m thinking it’ll only take a minute to stick that knob back in the hole.

     Five wet, stubborn minutes later I went and shut off the water to the outside. I called my son, too - just in case. I was still smiling, but not that much. The water kept rocketing out of the tiny hole where the knob was s’posed to go, like I’d never shut off the water. I figured it couldn’t get any worse and turned everything that moved on that manifold. The water kept spraying.

     My son pulled up in the driveway and sent me back to shut off the water – again - while he checked the sprinklers. Don’t know how come there are two shut-off valves, but there are. One of them doesn’t do a dang thing, far as I know. This time I got the right one and the water actually stopped and I got the knob back in its hole. It’s a lot easier shoving something down a hole without a jet-stream spraying out of it – in case you ever have to do it.

     I turned the water back on and we turned the sprinklers on to make sure everything was all right. Sure enough, they turned on. Sure enough, they didn’t turn off. Bryan checked every knob and lever at the manifold that I’d had so much fun playing with and after he put them all back in their proper positions, the water stopped. And so did I. It was a good walk, but even I know when to call it quits.    

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