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No More High-tech Tantrums in 2007

     Last year I lost it, but this year is gonna be My Year. iPods ’n Blueberries ’n Wemotes beware! I know, it’s Blackberry. But if I had one I’d call it a Blueberry. Just sounds friendlier.

     Sometime last year while I was working my tail off, tech toys exploded. You know, I could survive without ever touching another tech toy, but that’s not all that happened last year.

     Along with the explosion of tech toys came the new Internet Browser 7 and the new Windows with tabs instead of toolbars. Even my accounting software, QuickBooks Online, redesigned itself to fit the new look.

     They didn’t get along. None of them. Internet Browser 7 kicked QuickBooks out of the Windows and refused to allow my e-mails into my mailbox. Our tech support guy at work said the new Browser sets up lots more firewalls so as to “deliver us from evil.” Well, I pray for that every night - but it’s not the Internet Browser I’m praying to.

     In the end, the tech guy had to reset all my Internet Browser settings to get me back to where I was before all these updated versions of stuff installed themselves on my computer.

     You know how it is. Everything’s going smoothly; you’re feeling quite competent and technologically proficient and then that little message pops up: “I have updates. Click here to Install Now or Install Later.” No choice to Install Never.

     The tech guy spent one whole morning and half an afternoon finding and fixing the damage all those updates had done. While he was doing that, I was forced to spend the day reading insurance contracts and lease agreements.

     Not a good thing. After wading through five pages of clauses and sub clauses, I moved from my office to a coffee shop up the street to clear my foggy brain. The coffee got me through a few more pages of indemnity clauses before I picked myself up and walked a few blocks to the courtyard outside the County Office building. Indemnity clauses are much more bearable when you’re sitting by a fountain splashing sparkly water in the balmy California sunshine.

     Oh! I was talking about high tech. Sorry. Got carried away.

     You know, for a gal my age, I really was keeping up – or so I thought. I started on computers back in the Stone Age, with a Mac. Then I mastered the PC. Learned Excel, Word, e-mail, web pages (yeah! I really did!). I mean, I was doing just fine.

     Well, that’s a stretch. Computers never let you “do just fine.” There are always those updates. But for years I was okay with not knowing a PDA from a Blueberry - okay, Blackberry. I was okay with not having the slightest idea what a Bluetooth is or does. I was even okay with having thumbs that can’t handle anything more than a remote control, because hey! I text messaged my granddaughter and she text messaged me back. Six times in one day!

     I was okay with totally ignoring the tiny camera that takes a photo of the inside of my purse every time I reach for my cell phone, and I know exactly what earbuds are - although I can’t help wondering whatever happened to headphones. And do earbuds blossom, or are they just pals for your ears?

     The year 2007 is going to be different. No more high-tech tantrums for me. In the year 2007 I’m going to master the tech toys, the Windows, the Blackberry, all the latest Browsers ’n iPods, ’n Bluetooth himself. Might even get myself an earbud. In 2007 I’m going to become a High Tech Techie with my own personal PDA linked to my iPod linked to my little pink Razr, on which I play games, visit the Internet, create elegant photo galleries and download different ring tones for everyone I know.

     If you believe that…

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