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What a Year for a Political Junkie Like Me!

     I can hardly keep up with all the caucuses, polls, primaries, political analyses, candidates’ appearances and presidential debates on red, white and blue stages with audiences clapping, listening and nodding off. All across our TV screen presidential candidates appear in their friendly blue suits, warm cinnamon pantsuits and bright red ties. Their flashing smiles of polished white teeth are interrupted only by sternly pointed fingers punctuating accusing words. The minute the remote control goes into action all heck breaks loose.

     “Wait! I want to hear Huckabee! Stop! What did Hillary just say? Go back! Obama wasn’t finished!”

     I have to admit, every four years I become a political junkie. For months now I’ve been listening to the debates in South Carolina, Iowa, New Hampshire, Michigan and Nevada. Been listening to commentators and political columnists tell me what I just heard and why it’s important or why it isn’t important and which one won the debate tonight and who lost it and who attacked whom and who stayed “above the fray.” They inform me who shouldn’t have said what and who said exactly the right thing.

     It’s been tough keeping track of all the candidates. So many. Such a colorful bunch. Lots of Republicans; lots of Democrats. Impossible to remember which one said he wanted the walls built along the border and who said he wanted free health care for all and who said he wanted change – or was that a she?

     Actually, if you noticed, they said that we want walls and we want health care and we want change, although I’ve never personally told them any of that, have you? But they’re going to give it to us. All we have to do is vote for them.

     My problem is I want a little of everything. And I definitely don’t want some other things. Too bad there’s no way to split your vote.

     “I’ll take half of Huckabee and a little of Hillary and could you mix in a couple of cupfuls of Edwards and McCain?”

     Speaking of McCain, was it McCain or Huckabee who won the last primary in – where was it? Florida, Nevada… South Carolina? Oh that’s right, the Florida primary isn’t ’til the end of the month. And Mitt won Michigan but the delegates remain unpledged. Makes sense…

     Super Tuesday’s coming up fast. I’ll never be able to keep up with all of that. Sure glad I only have to vote in one state. And it’s a good thing I only get one ballot. Not telling you which one…

     This morning on my way to work I thought I’d get a little relief from the constant barrage of campaigning, debates, polls and analysts that have been filling my evenings at home. But before I even got to my office, I heard Denise asking Barbara if you had to re-register to vote if you’ve moved since the last election. She knew today was the last day to register and she’d just found out you had to do it in person - couldn’t do it online.

     I thought you could do everything online. Guess not. Anyway, the conversation ratcheted up from there. Rob launched the first missile, aimed at Denise.

     “Who are you going to vote for?”

     Denise didn’t skip a beat. “The girl.”

     The political debates began anew. This time without the candidates. I hid behind my desk, keeping my opinions to myself and listening as hard as I could. I’d expected to have a break from all the political debates, attacks, and analyses I’d come to love, but here I was, a political junkie in political junkie’s heaven. The real thing. The voters themselves expressing their opinions. Not a pollster in sight.

     If you’re really into politics, what more can you ask for?

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