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Cell Phone Covers Transform Themselves in the Landfill

     Okay. Here’s the deal. The cell phone virus is going around, so you hafta go out and buy a cover for your phone to keep it cozy and warm. I heard it on the television news last night just before I went to bed. Or maybe you just found a really neat fluorescent orange cover that you’d love to put on your cell ’cause you’re always forgetting where you last left it and you’re tired of borrowing someone else’s cell phone to call your cell phone so you can follow the music to where it’s hiding. With that bright orange cover it’d be no problem seeing that glow coming out from under the seat of your car. But then – if you buy a new cover - you’d have to throw away your old cover and that’s the problem.

     According to this very distinguished cell phone reporter on National Public Radio, people are tossing way too many phone covers into the trash bin and now those covers are filling up the landfills and they don’t dissolve. The covers, not the landfills.

     But first we have to talk about that virus I mentioned. Last night on KUSI nightly news they announced there’s a virus out there looking to attack our cell phones and since we don’t have enough flu shots to go around for ourselves, there’s no way anyone’s gonna give her flu shot to your cell phone. Altho’ I did hear that some lady called KPBS to ask how she could give back her flu shot so someone who needs it more than she does could have it. But that’s another story…

     I’ve never had a cover for my cell - ’cept the one that came with the phone when I bought it. I threw that one away – it was kind’a ugly and I figured I’d never need it and it took up too much room anyway. I looked for a prettier one a couple of times, but with all those covers out there, not one of them fits my phone. Don’t know why… I really wanted that fluorescent orange one.

     I’m gonna look for one in earnest now because with all this damp chilly air, my phone is really vulnerable to that virus. Plus I heard this guy in Great Britain has solved the problem of the landfills so when I get ready to throw away my new cover I won’t have to worry - as long as I buy one of those covers that transforms itself into a sunflower after it dies.

     Yep! This guy figured out how to make a cell phone cover that turns into a sunflower when it gets to the landfill. He designed a little plastic pouch that holds the seed forever. Well, it keeps it safe and un-germinated until the dirt in the landfill dissolves the pouch. Then the seed falls out and germinates in the landfill dirt and before you know it a beautiful sunflower sprouts right out of your old discarded cell phone cover. And if you leave your phone in the cover when you toss it, and if it’s one of those camera phones, maybe it’ll send you a picture of your beautiful sunflower blowing in the wind.

     Oh – in case you’re thinking this seed in your phone cover could be a problem, the guy – he’s a certified scientist of some sort – says not to worry. The seed won’t germinate in your ear. And if you’re not crazy about sunflowers and would rather have your phone cover coming up roses, well, he’s working on that.

     If he’d only started with a poinsettia, this could have been a really nice Christmas column.

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