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A perfect pandemic day

     Frustrated? Bored? Sick and tired of this ******* pandemic? Let me give you a few pointers on how to have an exciting, fun pandemic day.

     Let's start first thing in the morning. Luxuriously, you can roll over and stay in bed for an hour or two. Nowhere to go; nothing to do. Who wouldn't love that? Pillow's soft and cushy.

     Ready to bounce out now? Okay. Paste on a drowsy smile and get those pesky morning things done—the teeth-brushing, hair-combing, dressing and all that. The good part? You can look as grungy as you want. Dress comfy—there's no one to impress. But if it lifts your spirits to look knock-out gorgeous or downright studly, then go for it!

     The clock is running and you can, too. We're allowed to go out. Put your mask on. Hope yours is well-ventilated. You get to show off that unique design if you run into anyone. Don't get too close. If running's not your speed, take a walk around the block or to the neighborhood park or around your gorgeous yard. Check out your plants. Are they well-fed? Over-watered? Under-watered? Thriving on the new fantastic fertilizer you fed them last week? Pat yourself on the back for cultivating such a beautiful yard

     Oh. Weeds growing up out of the artificial turf and the landscape rocks? Leave'em! They'll still be there tomorrow and you've got nothing but time on your hands, today, tomorrow and on into eternity it seems. Today no weeding—we're having fun! Speaking of which, breakfast awaits! Or the fixings, anyway.

     Ahhh. First, a refreshing shower, if you like, after all that fantastic running or walking. Towel off; run a comb through your hair—or don't. Who cares? Time to hit the coffee machine and break a few eggs. Sizzle some bacon. Potatoes? Naw. Too much work. No slicing and dicing today. Today we're having fun!

     Mmmm. . . coffee's brewing; bacon's frying; can't smell the eggs but all those aromas are making for a perfect pandemic morning. Now for the paper. Oh! Right! No one reads the paper any more. So what's your flavor? TV, iPhone, your favorite podcast? Relax, sit back, enjoy your world. In which case, forget the news. This is a fun day! A day to savor the richness of your coffee brew, the crunchiness of the bacon and—you did make toast, didn't you?

     Tummy full. What's next? It's gonna be hard to choose from all these exciting alternatives. Load the laundry? See if the mail's come? Empty the overloaded dishwasher? What fun! No mail yet? On to the other fun things.

     Nothing like laundry and dishes to keep you happy! Grab a load of dirty, smelly clothes and dump them in the washer. Or open the dishwasher door and put away all the sparkling clean forks and knives and plates and cups so you can get the dirty dishes out of the sink where you stashed them all day yesterday because you were too bored to bother to empty the dishwasher so you could properly put the dirty ones in to be washed.

     Only an hour to lunch-time. Perfect! Time to call a few "co-stuck-in the-house" friends to see how they're coping. They probably all have exciting news for us, you think?

     Well, that went well. Nothing new with them. Shelly got a new mask but it has a big gap in it when she puts it on. Bert's back to working at home—doesn't like it a bit. They're both really jealous of our exciting day.

     Okay. Calm down. Lunch time and I'm out of time and space, so how about you come back tomorrow—or in a few days—to see how to have a doubly exciting pandemic afternoon and evening?

     Stay well—and masked—and alone. Sorry.

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