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Smile-breaks

It's Just My Opinion

     Who would'a thought a Bible Study group would be a hotbed of marital strife? But I was there, right in the middle of it, words flying, flinging out opinions about opinions! And it wasn't just marital strife—the strife reached out to the few singles there, also. Of course we had finished our studies; now was the time to lighten up a bit, socialize.

     I have to admit that in spite of my firm position that all creatures were created equal, the riotous opinions were split along gender lines. I leave it to you to figure out which gender took which side. Got to protect the guilty. At least, that's my opinion.

     It started with the telling of a difference of opinion where the opinion requested was completely ignored.

     "If you weren't going to follow my opinion, why did you ask for it?" he/she said.

     "Hey, maybe I wanted to get a broader view, get someone else's perspective," he/she said. "Yeah!" another he/she hollered out.

     "Doesn't mean he/she had to do what you thought."

     "Well, why ask then?" "Yeah, why ask? Waste of time."

     "Just do what you were going to do in the first place and don't bother me."

     I got caught up in the opinion fight—I had a few opinions of my own and I wasn't shy about spouting them out until oops! A quick look at the time on my cell told me it was ten minutes past the time I was supposed to leave.

     "Bye all!" Off I went, out in the darkness to my waiting black Mazda, hoping they'd end the strife and come to an agreement that satisfied all sides. I switched on the ignition and pulled out onto the street. A U-turn at the bottom of the hill got me headed in the right direction with all my opinions intact.

     But… My mind wouldn't quit! In the dark silence of my Mazda, I knew something was missing. Sure, it's a free country and we all have First Amendment rights so we can say what we think. But how one gender was so convinced you shouldn't ask for an opinion if you weren't ever going to take it and the other gender had the righteous opinion that there's nothing wrong with asking for someone's opinion and then not following it—that had me buffaloed. This was a puzzle. Why did someone want an opinion and not follow it? Why did they—the other they—get so upset about their opinion being flatly rejected? I drove more slowly than usual, pondering this mystery.

     I was halfway home when it happened. I saw the light! I knew it! Should I turn around and go back and bring peace and understanding to the people sitting around the dining room table flinging opinions around like confetti?

     I didn't turn around. I was already late getting home. So my hope is that by sharing my revelation here, I will bring peace to my friends, both the he's and the she's.

     The answer, my friends, is obvious—when a he/she asks for your opinion, he/she is asking not for your opinion of what he/she should do. Light bulb!!! He/she is looking for your support! "What do you think?" really means "Please support me in what I'm going to do."

     A corollary: It's my firm opinion that if a he/she asks his/her friends—as opposed to a marital partner or significant other—for an opinion, there will be no assumption that the opinions offered will be followed, and there will be no hurt feelings if they aren't. Those opinions will be debated, disputed and considered—all in the best of spirits.

     That's my opinion—what's yours?

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