Smile-breaks
And law number six is. . .
We've got too many laws. Way too many laws. Who can remember them all? Ten should be enough. One for each finger. What's good enough for the Almighty should be good enough for the rest of us.
The first Law should be: Don't hurt anyone. Covers just about everything in the criminal code I would think. Not subject to interpretation by the Superior Court—either you did or you didn't. Hurt someone. If you did – well, I'm not getting into the penalty phase here. That's for later. Just don't hurt anyone. Not saying you have to love them—just leave 'em alone.
Second Law I'm thinking: Don't drive too fast. Easy enough. If you hit the car in front of you, you broke that one.
Third Law: Don't steal. Kind'a like it says on the stone tablets. That one's lasted a long time because it makes sense. You don't take my stuff; I won't take yours. Everybody's happy. Sort of… depends what you have that I don't have.
Number four: Turn off the cell phone at meetings, movies, plays and anywhere else where no one wants a jingle in the middle of the entertainment. So let's make that: Turn off the cell phone whenever it's appropriate. Penalty for that one's easy—loss of cell phone until you're willing to come up with a hundred dollars for a new one.
Okay, moving on to Law number five: Ask for directions. We're getting tired of driving around in circles and being late and wasting gas, so please—just ask for directions.
Number six: Love your kids. They'll turn out better that way and that would be so nice for the rest of us. And for them. You get extra points for this one—might even get your cell phone back.
Law number seven: If you play the Lottery, turn in your winning ticket. In other words, don't send it off to the dry cleaners in your jacket pocket and then tell your significant other that you won the Lottery but you can't find your ticket. Causes a lot of unhappiness.
And now for number eight: Be a good sport. We all lose sooner or later and it doesn't help to cry. Ask the Chargers…
Law number nine: Pay your taxes. Exactly what you owe. Your kids know when you cheat on your taxes 'cause they hear you talking about it and then they know it's okay to break the rules and you don't want that now, do you?
Finally, Law number ten: Never break the law. And since there are only ten of them, you can't say you forgot. If you never can remember, say—Law number six, tattoo it on your sixth finger—which by my count, would be your right thumb, or if you're left-handed that would be your left thumb. That way you'll always see it. And remember it.
What was Law number six anyway? Wait a minute—have to go check. Oh yeah. Picked a good one. Love your kids. Tattooed on your thumb for all the world to see.
And if you kind'a like figure that everyone in the world is your kid, I guess we'd have a pretty good world, don't you think?
