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An iPod Installed in Your Jeans – What Next?

     I don’t know where this is going, but now you can buy jeans with a docking station for your iPod built right into the pockets.

     What? You don’t have an iPod? Well, okay. But for sure you have a pair of faded, loose-fitting jeans for doing the yard work ’n washing the car. And you prob’ly have another pair of jeans, all torn and ripped to impress those teenagers.

     Well, maybe not the torn and ripped - but I’ll bet you have a pair of stylish, tight-fitting jeans for company get-togethers or that special movie date.

     The first iPod I ever met wasn’t in anyone’s jeans. It was docked firmly in my grandson’s hands with little wires going up into his ears. I tapped him on the shoulder and after he got himself unhooked, I asked him to show me how the thing works.

     He did a great job of explaining it and I’d be happy to share it with you, except I forgot.

Prob’ly because I don’t have an iPod to practice on. All I remember is that you’re s’posed to download tons of music from the Internet and transfer those files to your iPod and then, whenever you feel the need for music, you plug in your iPod and rock.

     After my grandson instructed me in the why’s and wherefore’s of the iPod, I chose a song, plugged those little transmitters into my ears, and - Whoa!!!

     Crashing waves of sound bounced off the rafters of my brain. My head shook wildly and the world outside dissolved into dogs not barking, people silently mouthing words and silver wind chimes swinging noiselessly in the breeze.

     I yanked the transmitters out of my sockets – um, ears – and handed them back to my grandson. He looked almost as relieved as I felt. I shook my head to clear out the echoes.

     I like my music bouncing around outside my head. Booming out from speakers up on the bandstand is good. Flowing out of the CD player into the room is good.

     Which is why I took a second look at the full-page ad for a Bose sound system with a docking station. The dock was waiting for – what else? - an iPod. After you dock your iPod, Bose sucks the music out of it and sends it in melodious waves into the room around you. I was tempted to go out and buy an iPod on the spot.

     It was two days later that I heard about the jeans with the iPod docking station built into their pockets. Two hundred dollars a pair!

     That’s okay. You get a retractable headset and portable speakers, too. A real bargain. Not sure where they put the headset and speakers, but they say, “It’s all in the jeans.”

     With a sound system like that in your jeans, you’ve obviously gotta go somewhere and since no one goes anywhere these days without a GPS system, you’ll have to go out and buy a pair of shoes with a GPS system installed under the laces.

     And why not a DVD player hooked to your belt or snapped to your sleeve? So when you’re walking across the driveway from the DVD in your Hummer to the DVD in your house, you won’t miss a single second of the show.

     For you super-cybered souls, a Blackberry velcro’d to the visor of your cap will keep you from missing those important e-mails while you’re at the ball game.

     Like I said, I don’t know where all this is going. Used to be you stuck an apple in your pocket and off you went, wire-free, with a whistle for a sound system, if you had that particular talent. Otherwise you had to rely on the birds…

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