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Speaking of Freeway Attractions, I Almost Ran into a Good One…

     SOLD. Darn, I was hoping to buy it.

     Actually not. A dirty white pickup overstuffed with ladders and who-knows-what, and a large square white sign behind the driver’s head said SOLD in big red letters.

     So I was wondering, was it SOLD and he was delivering it to a happy customer? Maybe he wanted to let people know it wasn’t such a bad truck after all. Someone in this world was willing to pay for it.

     Or was it SOLD because he just bought it? Sold to him. But why would he drive around town with a SOLD sign on his truck? Because obviously he’d had it for quite some time. You don’t get that much junk in a pickup truck overnight. I think I even saw a broken sawhorse in there. Remember those? Does anyone still use those?

     SOLD. Hmmm… Maybe he just loved that ol’ pickup of his. Was SOLD on it.

     I’m gonna get a BOUGHT sign for my car. I’ll put it in the side window where they put the price list with all the extras and options and X thousands of dollars to add on to the loan you haf’ta take out. Then everyone will know I BOUGHT it. If you look real close, you’ll notice I’ve added a few options since I bought it.

     My Option #3 is a 1999 Thomas Brothers map, priced real low at $3,000. Kind’a like a GPS system. Fits neatly in the space between the front seats. My new Option #15 is a CD - cost of $1,000. Features a swinging Spanish guitarist. I forgot his name. Wouldn’t  fit in the cupholder, so it’s stashed in the glove compartment. The CD, not the guitarist. He’s in the back seat.

     I’ve added a few other options, too, but I’ll spare you...

     Anyway like I said, if I put a BOUGHT sign in the window, everyone will know I BOUGHT it. Or maybe they’ll think you BOUGHT it and I’m just bragging, like the guy in the pickup truck.

     Okay, okay. I’ll quit. It was just something I saw on the freeway and you know how there’s not that much going on on the freeway. Driving home after a hard day’s work, you start noticing things like SOLD signs on old trucks and weeds growing in the cracks in the fast lane and to tell you the truth, anything’s a welcome relief from all those bumper stickers, “My child’s an excellent outstanding straight A honor student good citizen at Whatever Academy” and “My Sports Star pitcher son can strike out your Straight A honor student daughter.”

     Speaking of freeway attractions, I ran into a good one the other night. I think. Couldn’t quite tell.

     One of those Hummers got in front of me at the I-8 and 125 North merge. Hummers are something you always have to stop and look at – just to see who’s driving them. The guy in the Sebring convertible behind me was pressing, so I couldn’t stop like I usually do, but three flickering video screens on the backseat headrests caught my eye. Ah – entertainment for the ride home!

     I couldn’t quite make out what was on the small screens to the left and right, so I focused on the large one in the middle. It was still a little blurry, so I pressed on the accelerator and moved in a little closer.

     Unfortunately, about that time the Hummer huffed off into the left lane and drove off down the freeway before I ever found out what was playing. I had to go home and watch “Cold Case.”

     You know I’m just kidding about all this freeway stuff. At least I hope you do, ’cause my closing words – well, I sure wouldn’t want to scare you, but the closing’s inevitable - 

     See ya out there on the freeways…

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