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...and Don't Forget the Trash

     Some things I don’t remember, but I never forget anything. That’s what I thought until I opened the trunk of my car after work one day and saw the three black trash bags I was supposed to leave at the bottom of the hill that morning. Lucky for me, they didn’t stink yet.

     The road to our house is a short steep hill and it’s a private road so the trash truck doesn’t come up it. Those huge waste containers on wheels that everyone else has don’t work for the seven families that live on our road. It’s way too steep to roll them down – you’d end up flying down the hill behind a giant runaway trash barrel. Although, a couple of the neighbors do – not fly down the hill, but they roll their trash barrels down the road. Very carefully. The rest of us drive our trash down to the bottom of the hill.

     The general method is to stash the trash in your trunk, drive to the bottom of the road, put on your flashers, remove the black bags from the trunk and set them alongside the road. Looks awful. That was the only thing we didn’t like about the house when we bought it – it looked like a trash center because although the trash truck picks up on Tuesdays, there always seem to be trash bags there.

     I digress. Sorry. After I totally forgot to take out the trash at all - when I had five bags filled with house trash, plus odds ’n ends from the garage that had been gathering dust and spiders and that I’d sneaked into the bags in my determination to clear out the garage over the next six months – I knew I had to come up with a plan. Otherwise, by the time I remembered, I’d need a U-Haul truck to take it all down to the bottom of the road.

     The plan was oh so clever! I’d put those bags in the trunk of my car the night before. Then, if I forgot in the morning, it would already be there. Good plan. So I did. I was so proud of myself that night.

     The next morning I got up and went to work. Straight to work. No stops. Had a good day at work. Got out a bit late; called Paul to tell him I’d pick him up at six and then - I don’t remember why, but - I opened the trunk.

     Three big black bags of trash looked up at me, like “When are you going to let us out?”

     Last week I only had two bags of trash to take down. By now I knew I’d have to do something really different or for sure I’d forget. Again. I meditated for hours on this. I saw visions of black trash bags sitting by the roadside at the bottom of the hill. Of course that inspired me and I came up with a new plan.

     This new plan was undefeatable. This new plan couldn’t be better. The new plan was that I’d get the trash bags ready the night before but I would not put them in the trunk. I’d set them on the garage floor, right behind the trunk of my car. Perfect! I’d see them the minute I opened the garage door, put them in the trunk, take them down to the bottom of the road and drop them off.

     And I did that. I set them right behind my car. I saw them there in the morning. I hoisted them into the trunk, got in the car and drove off. Nice drive. Traffic was light all the way in to work and all the way home.

     The trash bags enjoyed the commute. They’re waiting patiently in the garage for their next trip out.

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