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Clogged and Going Nowhere

     Water bubbled up. Greasy, grimy water. On both sides of the kitchen sink. My son told me months ago I should put Drano down the drains once a month. I didn't do it. He said to put ice cubes in the garbage disposal every now and then. I didn't do it.

     Drano to the rescue! That pint of Drano I hadn't used was still under the sink. I'd take care of this in a hurry. The water was slick and grey and I suspected the spinach leaves I'd put down the disposal that afternoon were the culprit and the water was making no sign of moving in a downward direction so I poured the whole pint of Drano down the non-disposal side of the double sink. It didn't go down; it floated on the surface of all that grimy water.

     After fifteen minutes you're s'posed to run hot water down the drain to flush out the Drano and sludge but the hot water runs cold before it gets hot, so how do you run hot water without running the cold water first?

     You do what you gotta do. I ran cold water, then hot, into the slimy mess. More slimy grey water bubbled up out of both sides. Of course it was Sunday afternoon. Not the best time to call a plumber unless you want to see your money go down the drain with the sludge and I was in no mind to crawl under the sink and take apart the plumbing to let the sludge out of the U-bend, so I hurried out and bought the biggest jug of Drano I could find.

     Didn't work. Two hours later the water level had gone down from two inches to not quite two inches and the house was smelling like a Drano factory. Good way to spend a Sunday afternoon.

     Monday morning dawned bright and early. The water level had shrunk to one inch on either side; still grimy as all get-out. I called Mike—best plumber in town. Of course I got voicemail but what did I expect? It was Monday morning. Probably hundreds of the teeming masses had been pouring Drano down their drains over the weekend with no luck—just like me.

     Mike called back! Mike came that morning! Mike fixed the drain! And re-plumbed the weird configuration of pipes under the sink and checked the bathroom drains and tightened the faucet on the sink and charged me—Well, I won't tell you what he charged me, but it was well worth it but as he was leaving…

     "Oh, Mike! One more thing. The faucet on the patio is dripping—can you take a look at it?" He did and with three twists of his wrench, stopped the dripping. I was going to pay him extra, but he just grinned and shook his head.

     It's not just Mike who bails me out. It's Randy for the electric stuff and Marcelino for keeping the yard beautiful and the Aardvark people for the gophers and Amazon for my shopping…

     Oh, I guess that doesn't count, does it? Anyway, I sure am glad there are people who like to do all the things I don't like to do and wouldn't know how if I tried; otherwise I'd have gophers all over my yard—make that under my yard—overgrown plants, clogged up drains and shocking electrical outlets.

     From now on I will put Drano down my drains once a month. I will throw a few dozen ice cubes down the disposal now and then—because, tough to say, but sometimes your kids know better than you. 

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